10.20.2013

Battles with nature

Ever have something happen that is so...bizarre–you can't quite explain it in a way that makes sense to someone else?

I often wake at the crack of dawn to the sound of pattering feet. Probably most people do, but this is different because I don't have kids or pets. Part of the roof above my bedroom is flat. There are huge trees on both sides of my house. I will often hear squirrels chattering and scampering across it. While it took some getting used to, there are worse ways to wake up.

But this morning, I heard some loud banging. I first thought that someone was at my door. Bleary- eyed, I stumbled out of bed to explore. Nope. I stumbled back to my room and took refuge under my warm covers, muttering about the mystery. No sooner did my head touch the pillow when the racket began again. I sat up, feeling like the noise was coming from the roof. What in the world? Frustrated, I rapped on my bedroom window. The knocking stopped. I opened the window and poked my head out, brandishing a Fisher Price flashlight shaped like a cow. (It moos when you press the button and the light shines out of the cow's mouth. A gift from my father.) 

Three huge black birds flew off the roof, squawking. Were they crows? Ravens? I have no idea. I don't know what was happening out there, but that didn't stop my speculation. I started by imagining that the squirrels have sent out their CSI unit to investigate a multiple homicide. Are there miscellaneous bones scattered on my roof? Then, a second unsettling thought occurred to me. Could the birds be mating? How do birds procreate? I should have paid more attention in biology. In the brief moment before I can Google "How do birds have sex?" and after I laughed about the idea of birds being delivered by storks, the most horrifying thought crossed my mind. Were the neighbors watching the crazy woman in sweatpants and a messy ponytail hanging out of the window pointing a toy at the roof?

No one told me being an adult would be like this. 


5 comments:

  1. You did NOT google "How do birds have sex?", did you? And I thought what I googled last night was bad. ("Is Norway a country?") There's no hope for either of us. :)

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    Replies
    1. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I knew Norway was a country, so 50% isn't too bad, right? As far as there being no hope for us, I disagree. We are the only people I know who wilI have a dialogue using quotes from the Princess Bride, sing from Pirates of Penzance on the spur of the moment, AND have an impromptu dance party. Such talent! It's quite scary, really!

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    2. Okay, you make a good point. :) By the way, I could use an impromptu dance party right about now...you free?

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  2. So that's where that flashlight went!!!! :)

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  3. Go to missing money (us gov.website)
    State Property Id Name Last Known Address Property Type Reported By Amount
    3390697 TIEFEL PAUL 2015 N HASTINGS WAY
    EAU CLAIRE, WI, 54703 REFUNDS DUE SEARS Under $100

    : )



    This property

    ReplyDelete