Please e·nun·ci·ate

I have a terrible time with song lyrics. Always have. I don't mean that I don't comprehend the meaning of the lyrics. Generally speaking, that's not the problem. I mean that when I hear an artist SING the song, I can't tell what the words are.

I know I'm not the only one. There were a lot of people who thought that Taylor Swift was singing about Starbucks lovers, not a long list of ex-lovers. 

My friend Adam jokes about there being a "bathroom on the right" when he hears the song "Bad Moon Rising." After watching the movie Clue years ago, my sister Deb thought "Shake, Rattle, and Roll" was "Shake, Bottle the Road."

I love Matt Nathanson. But it took a few listens before I realized he can't stop thinking about the girl in the KINKS shirt, rather than the Girl in the Pink shirt.

Or that song "Do Wah Diddy Diddy"... Yeah, yeah, I get that THOSE are made up words. But the line "I'm hers, she's mine" sounds like "I'm hurt, she's mad" to me. That context matters a lot in terms of a relationship.

My most recent example happened yesterday, when I was driving. Patty Smyth came on the radio. I know the song is titled Warrior, but every time I hear it, I hear, "I am the worrier! Yes, I am the worrier!" Please pass the anxiety medication.

Speaking of which, I'm cooking dinner. Excuse me while I go check on my shook up ramen. Can you believe Def Leppard wrote a song about that?