Battles with nature

Ever have something happen that is so...bizarre–you can't quite explain it in a way that makes sense to someone else?

I often wake at the crack of dawn to the sound of pattering feet. Probably most people do, but this is different because I don't have kids or pets. Part of the roof above my bedroom is flat. There are huge trees on both sides of my house. I will often hear squirrels chattering and scampering across it. While it took some getting used to, there are worse ways to wake up.

But this morning, I heard some loud banging. I first thought that someone was at my door. Bleary- eyed, I stumbled out of bed to explore. Nope. I stumbled back to my room and took refuge under my warm covers, muttering about the mystery. No sooner did my head touch the pillow when the racket began again. I sat up, feeling like the noise was coming from the roof. What in the world? Frustrated, I rapped on my bedroom window. The knocking stopped. I opened the window and poked my head out, brandishing a Fisher Price flashlight shaped like a cow. (It moos when you press the button and the light shines out of the cow's mouth. A gift from my father.) 

Three huge black birds flew off the roof, squawking. Were they crows? Ravens? I have no idea. I don't know what was happening out there, but that didn't stop my speculation. I started by imagining that the squirrels have sent out their CSI unit to investigate a multiple homicide. Are there miscellaneous bones scattered on my roof? Then, a second unsettling thought occurred to me. Could the birds be mating? How do birds procreate? I should have paid more attention in biology. In the brief moment before I can Google "How do birds have sex?" and after I laughed about the idea of birds being delivered by storks, the most horrifying thought crossed my mind. Were the neighbors watching the crazy woman in sweatpants and a messy ponytail hanging out of the window pointing a toy at the roof?

No one told me being an adult would be like this. 


  1. You did NOT google "How do birds have sex?", did you? And I thought what I googled last night was bad. ("Is Norway a country?") There's no hope for either of us. :)

    1. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I knew Norway was a country, so 50% isn't too bad, right? As far as there being no hope for us, I disagree. We are the only people I know who wilI have a dialogue using quotes from the Princess Bride, sing from Pirates of Penzance on the spur of the moment, AND have an impromptu dance party. Such talent! It's quite scary, really!

    2. Okay, you make a good point. :) By the way, I could use an impromptu dance party right about now...you free?

  2. So that's where that flashlight went!!!! :)

  3. Go to missing money (us gov.website)
    State Property Id Name Last Known Address Property Type Reported By Amount
    EAU CLAIRE, WI, 54703 REFUNDS DUE SEARS Under $100

    : )

    This property