Ever have something happen that is so...bizarre–you can't quite explain it in a way that makes sense to someone else?
I often wake at the crack of dawn to the sound of pattering feet. Probably most people do, but this is different because I don't have kids or pets. Part of the roof above my bedroom is flat. There are huge trees on both sides of my house. I will often hear squirrels chattering and scampering across it. While it took some getting used to, there are worse ways to wake up.
But this morning, I heard some loud banging. I first thought that someone was at my door. Bleary- eyed, I stumbled out of bed to explore. Nope. I stumbled back to my room and took refuge under my warm covers, muttering about the mystery. No sooner did my head touch the pillow when the racket began again. I sat up, feeling like the noise was coming from the roof. What in the world? Frustrated, I rapped on my bedroom window. The knocking stopped. I opened the window and poked my head out, brandishing a Fisher Price flashlight shaped like a cow. (It moos when you press the button and the light shines out of the cow's mouth. A gift from my father.)
Three huge black birds flew off the roof, squawking. Were they crows? Ravens? I have no idea. I don't know what was happening out there, but that didn't stop my speculation. I started by imagining that the squirrels have sent out their CSI unit to investigate a multiple homicide. Are there miscellaneous bones scattered on my roof? Then, a second unsettling thought occurred to me. Could the birds be mating? How do birds procreate? I should have paid more attention in biology. In the brief moment before I can Google "How do birds have sex?" and after I laughed about the idea of birds being delivered by storks, the most horrifying thought crossed my mind. Were the neighbors watching the crazy woman in sweatpants and a messy ponytail hanging out of the window pointing a toy at the roof?
No one told me being an adult would be like this.
